


tap dancing on a land mine

by notthebigspoon



Series: Amaryllis [39]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-26
Updated: 2012-08-26
Packaged: 2017-11-12 22:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/496270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't like Tim expected anything out of Brian after their makeout session in the supply closet. He just hadn't expected to be completely ignored and avoided either.</p><p>Title taken from Rag Doll by Aerosmith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tap dancing on a land mine

“Timmy.”

“Mmm?”

“You talked to Weezy lately?”

Tim thinks about it as he pulls his shirt over his head. He sifts a hand through his hair, shaking out the tangles. “Not since LA. Kind of lost track of him before the game and I didn't see him after.”

“Well I was talking to the other guys and none of us have been able to get ahold of him. Not a single word out of him in days.” Affeldt frowns. “Just thought since you were the one to talk to him at the game the other day that maybe you had.”

“No. I mean, I called him the other day but it went to voicemail.” Tim shrugs. 

He doesn't bother hiding how much that bothers him. They're all a little worried about Brian after his behavior in LA. Everyone knew that he wasn't himself. Tim's bothered by that but also for a different reason. It wasn't exactly that he was expecting something after their makeout session in the closet. He just hadn't expected for Brian to just ignore him either.

Not that he's prepared to make any assumptions about his behavior. He's about as unpredictable as Zito.

“I'll go by his place after I get out of here. Check on him, make sure the Machine hasn't offed him.”

“Awesome. See you tomorrow Timmy.”

Tim just nods a goodbye, staring into his gear bag before zipping it up. He wonders how desperate or pathetic it will make him look if he turns up for no reason. Then he thinks about one of the other times he turned up for (seemingly) no reason and how he'd sobbed through Brian's shirt for five straight minutes before finally telling him why he was there, that Buster had dumped him.

No way he can embarrass himself any more than that, and besides, it's Weezy. No matter what they did in that closet, he's still one of his best friends and Tim is worried sick over him. It seals the deal and he drives out of the players lot resolved to break a window if he has to, to get in.

He notes Brian's car when he pulls up to the condo. Well, he's home at least. He parks the Mercedes and jogs up the steps, banging his fist on the front door. He can hear Dubz barking and Brian yelling at him to shut up. There's the heavy thump of his footsteps and then the door opening. He's got a tank top and short on, and Tim takes one second to allow himself to be very much distracted by the very nice arms.

“Tim? You've got a spare, the fuck did you knock for?”

“Haven't been taking my calls. Or anyone else's. Didn't want to intrude.” Tim shrugs. 

“Just come in already.” He mutters, standing back and holding the door open for Tim.

Tim steps past him and heads straight into the living room. Dubz is sitting on the couch next to an xbox controller and the screen is paused on something Tim doesn't recognize. He drops onto the couch, doesn't say anything as Brian picks up the controller and keeps playing. Something about that makes it more difficult. Maybe that's why Brian's doing it. If he's playing his game, he doesn't have to look at Tim.

It's not promising.

“Any special reason you've been avoiding everybody?”

“Busy.”

“Doing _what_?” Tim snorts. “Drinking beer and playing xbox?”

“No, no beer. Just xbox.”

Tim frowns and grabs the remote, turning the TV off, ignoring the yelp of protest. “What's going on? Are you still hung up on Belt? Is that why you're hiding from everybody?”

“Tim.”

“Answer the question, Wilson.”

“He never even gave me a chance. Just assumed that he knew everything about me, assumed that I was after something. All I wanted was for him to give me a chance.” Brian says and he sounds a little frustrated but mostly just sad. Tim winces internally. It'd be just his luck, to be going after another person that he can't have. “And then you kissed me and it was fucking fantastic. But I still can't stop thinking about him. I know I can't have him. And part of me doesn't even really want him. I want you. But I see him and there's still something there.”

It hurts more than it should. Tim knew Brian was majorly hung up on Belt when he kissed him. Honestly, Tim didn't know what he'd been thinking kissing him. And even the doubt, the whispers and the navel gazing and Brian just disappearing before the game was over. Tim had convinced himself that it would be different. That they'd be okay together, be something special, be something amazing.

But life, Tim's life, doesn't work like that. Not for the first time and probably not for the last, he's crazy about someone that only wants someone else. He wonders what his defect is, if there's just a crossed wire somewhere that renders him incapable of having a normal, healthy relationship. Not that it matters. What matters right now is Weezy and the look of utter misery on his face.

“Stop worrying about it.”

“What?”

“You're crazy about Belt. It's okay man, can't help who you want. Penny's on the DL now anyway. Maybe if you hunt Belt down, he'll give it another chance. I mean, I like the kid but we all know he's been more than a little easy.”

“You're an asshole.”

Tim stares. “ _I'm_ an asshole? What the hell did I do?”

“Just... sitting there. Acting like you don't give a shit. Like none of this fucking matters.” Brian snaps, pushing himself to stand. “Maybe I don't always take everything seriously. Maybe I fuck around to keep things light. But I know what matters.”

“And the fact that you want me but you're still hung up on Brandon fucking Belt doesn't matter?”

“I think what matters is that I want you now.”

“I don't think you do. You're always going to be thinking about him.”

“Do you think that little of me?”

“No, but...”

“Tim.” He says, and he shakes his head before holding Tim's gaze. “I'm not Buster.”

And there it is. Buster is Tim's knife to the gut just like Belt is Brian's. Tim had been Buster's bisexual experiment... something they'd been open about going into it and they'd said from the start that it was just fooling around, stress relief. Tim had never expected to fall for him. They'd dated, but just a little while. And then Buster had dumped him, told him it was wrong. Tim knew he was right, still knows he was right, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt like hell.

“Look. Just stay, okay? We'll order dinner and watch bad reality tv. If something happens, it happens and even if it doesn't, I'll probably make you stay and sleep in my bed anyways.”

It's hard to argue with that. Tim doesn't bother trying.


End file.
